Sometimes it's a little tricky to gain perspective enough over your own big day to be able to write about it, which is why perhaps a bit of time has helped me with this. I am sure any bride will agree that when you are planning the wedding, and then actually 'in' the wedding and then consequently basking in the glow of 'post wedding' it all feels very big and all consuming. Like you're in a bubble. It takes a little while before you can properly reflect on it as a memory.
Prior to the big day I was very focused on the whole event being 'DIY'. I am a maker, and to have a wedding which was planned and made by someone else would never have felt right.
Having searched high and low on the internet for some simple, one size doilies in pale pink and pale blue to begin making miles of bunting with, but finding nothing, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I made my own. Although I can't pretend it was all me, I had a fantastic workforce of friends and family who beavered away to get the 150 metres finished in time. It was also these moments of manic DIY crafting with close friends and family which added to the excitement and memories of 'wedding week'. There is nothing quite like tucking into fish & chips accompanied by a glass of wine with your wedding party after a day of creativity in the marquee. And I am so pleased we did, because the strings of pastel shades in and amongst the lanterns and fairy lights adorning the roof of our marquee have become a real feature in all the photos we now have from our wedding, both by our photographer and the guests.
Hector and Charlie are the PERFECT wedding day photographers. Nothing ever felt forced or planned out. We both felt completely at ease and I think that really shows in the final photos. Hector managed to catch all the tiny moments of nerves, laughter, tears and hugs which I could barely remember happening in the haze of bridal excitement. They are perfect little memories.
I am over the moon that we have these snapshots to always remember our day with.
If you'd like to sneak a peek at our engagement photos you'll find them here
From the beginning James and I thought it was important to prioritise elements of the day in order to both know what we were happy to spend a little more on. Being real foodies and also having a mutual love of real ale, we were always going to be happy finding the perfect caterers and sourcing our own drinks for the bar.
We chose Cook & Buttle caterers. Never ones to go for the 'usual', we decided to make life difficult for ourselves and build our own menu. The canapes acted as starters and included exciting little treats such as mini fish & chip cones and the most delicious mini yorkshire puddings with beef & horseradish sauce (I was most disappointed that I only managed to grab one of these. The beef was beyond tender). The mains were a choice of three: succulent sausages & creamy mashed potato, gourment fried chicken with potato wedges & coleslaw or a rustic mushroom pie. Cook & Buttle then delighted the guests with 3 tier cake stands covered with seasonal vegetable options on each of the tables. A great finishing touch!
Our entertainment became an important element to consider. We were very aware of the expanse of time between finishing the dinner and welcoming the evening guests. We knew that people would be quite full and ready to relax, so we didn't want anything heavy. After a chance conversation with an actor I was dressing in my job at Chichester Festival Theatre, I chose the fantastic Spinettes, who he happened to manage. They were the ideal entertainment to bring a close to the afternoon and send us into the dancing and socialising of the evening reception.
I remember taking a walk along the harbour with my new husband at this point (with our photographer subtly in the background) and the two of us took a moment to reflect on everything which had already happened that day, whilst hearing the girls seranading our guests in the marquee. It felt entirely how we had hoped it would.
For a bride, the dress is always going to be an element of the wedding day which needs a lot of thought. You will probably never put so much thought into any other item of clothing.
You want it to feel special and different, but at the same time you want your fiance to recognise the woman walking down the aisle. It needs the perfect balance. Which is a difficult thing to decide upon when you have so many other elements to plan and so many ideas running through your head.
I turned to the most incredibly talented Emily Garrod, whose skill still baffles me. She does wonderful things with fabric! I was aware that something off the peg wasn't quite going to work for the style I was looking for, so I went bespoke. It's easy to think this will be expensive and time consuming, but it isn't. It's all a myth! And it's such a fantastic experience.
After looking through drawings and pictures and fabrics, and spending plenty of time oggling over the clothes coming in and out of the wardrobe department, my final brief to Emily was a dress which mixed MGM costume glamour with the elegant designs of ballet dresses. She entirely met that brief, and went beyond. This dress still hangs from the picture rail in my bedroom at my parents house - it's just too beautiful to put in a wardrobe!
The little shrug was a last minute addition thanks to a vintage find by my mum during the wedding week. And although we were very lucky with the weather, I was so thankful for that extra layer when stepping away from the warmth of the marquee. I never actually intended to wear it during the ceremony but the moment I popped it over my shoulders to leave my parents house in the wedding care, my Dad convinced me it finished off the outfit perfectly. He was, of course, right.
I'm a beehive girl at heart and I could not foresake this on my wedding day. So my lovely hairdresser knew exactly what to do. I then turned to my skillful friend (who is handily a wedding make up artist!) Arabella Hewitt to work her magic on my features for the day. This worked perfectly as she knows my usual style inside out and could ensure I looked like 'Emily' rather than someone who had put their (cosmetic) life in the hands of stranger! She got it just right and I still love looking at the photos and knowing that I couldn't have made a better choice with both hair and make up.
The biggest tip I can give to any bride to be is to put some feelers out and let people know what you're looking for. There were so many elements of our wedding which we thought we were going to have to go to big, faceless businesses for but it turned out that a friend of a friend had the perfect bridesmaids car, or another friend's mum was a florist. It's not a of talking about your wedding until you bore people to death, but it a case of dropping things into conversation so friends and family can keep an eye out for you too. Delegating is also an excellent idea (once again, my Dad was right).
Weddings can so often be blown out of proportion and with the wedding industry telling you what you should and shouldn't have it's incredibly easy to forget that the crux of the whole event is enjoying that single moment where you and your fiance become husband and wife and say 'I do' to spending years of enjoying the ups and downs of life together. And that will be the moment which is imprinted on your memory. That will be the moment where you felt that for those few minutes it was just the two of you in a little bubble of blurry, hazy joy. Not everyone would be happy with a tea length dress, or a civil ceremony, or their bridesmaids in coloured tights. But I am just so pleased that we did it right for us.
*All photographs are by We Heart Pictures
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